Happiness and body image

Hi friends! I haven’t been here for awhile, just been busy with life. Life is interesting believe it or not. Body image is one area of every woman’s life that we are always thinking about. Not only women but men also think about their body image. Growing up, I have always associated beauty and “happiness” with being slim. I never realized why this was such a deep belief in me. I always felt happier when I lost weight. People also would compliment me, and it made me , naturally, feel good. Well, now it’s getting to a point where my obsession with being “thin” is getting on my damn nerves. I’m tired of feeling inadequate because I gained a pound or two. I have gotten to the point that I don’t want to go out the house because I feel “fat”. The funny thing is, I have never been “skinny” in my life, never really overweight either. I’m tired of worrying about what I eat, I just want to be like the girls I saw in Somalia who would eat a whole plate of pasta without thinking about the carbs and calories involved. I would sometimes look at them and wish I was like that. Women in Somalia would be plumb, or skinny and still happy with their bodies. I sometimes meet girls who are anorexic thin here but claim they’re fat, and frankly it’s annoying me….alot. I just wanna feed them some cookies and cream ice cream.

I’m tired of feeling like I’m not capable of being “loved” if I get to a certain weight. I used to go to the gym, but because I always end up wasting my money and not utilizing it, I stopped going. I know exercise is important in my life because it has always been the only thing besides prayer that has helped me to de-stress. Life is not easy when you’re possibly about to lose your job, got bills to pay, and you have no one to help you besides God. So, I would say exercise is pretty damn important to me at this time in my life. Over the years, I am realizing more and more that I have abused myself internally. I have put myself down, but it’s time I start putting this girl on the pedestal she deserves to be on. It’s time I start loving me, and not worrying about the things that don’t bring me joy. Life is short, and as soon as we realize that we got one life to live, the sooner we can put the minor things aside. The moral of the story is love your body, mind, and everything about yourself. You need to be your own friend first, you need to stomp out that little shaytan voice in your head that is always putting you down, making you all paranoid. Alhamdulilah, body weight shouldn’t be only one size fits all, you can be any weight and still be beautiful. The most important thing is being healthy.