Is Islam just a set of laws?

One of the reasons I took a “hiatus” from practicing Islam was because I felt I wasn’t a good muslimah. I felt that because I wasn’t practicing the “dos and don’ts” of Islam, I was better off not practicing part-time. I was also discouraged by some of the people who I felt were always judging me regarding the way I would dress.

Being in the Somali community, especially the one in Minneapolis you will quickly learn that there is alot of extremism when it comes to women and hijab. 99% of Somali females in Minneapolis, and the surrounding metro areas wear long skirts and headcovering. If I go to certain places in Minneapolis wearing jeans, Somali women upon observing my “Somaliness” will quickly give me the side eye. You’re basically dubbed a whore for wearing pants. For the non-muslim, non-Somali readers, you may gasp at this claim, but nevertheless it’s true. I can’t count the number of times a Somali man or woman came up to me to discuss with me why wearing “pants” is deemed “haraam” (not allowed) for women.

I was recently talking to a friend of mine who used to wear pants, and has taken up to wearing skirts everyday now. She was telling me that “wearing pants is no longer in style”. I had to laugh at her comment because wearing pants isn’t about “style” , it’s more about convenience. It’s easier to wear pants and match it easily with all types of tops and blouses. Furthermore, it depends on the type of pants you wear!

So, does wearing “pants” make me less muslim? It’s possible that alot of women who like to judge sisters who dress how they want are doing it because they themselves wish they could dress that way. Most of them tend to dress that way out of fear of the Somali community, sadly. Furthermore, when trying to explain the importance of hijab, most of the time they would talk about the punishments of hellfire if you show your hair, instead of the benefits of being modest.

I realized, everything I do is between me and Allah. Islam for me is a spiritual transformation that gives you a direct connection with Allah (God), not a set of dos and don’t. Islam is not just a set of laws, but a way of life to attain peace. For me, Islam is more than a piece of fabric that covers your hair. I’m not saying there aren’t any rules to practicing Islam, but while doing that, we shouldn’t forget the spiritual connection, and it’s transformative nature. Allah is flexible, so why should we be rigid?

Salah/Prayer

The second pillar of Islam is making the obligatory 5 daily prayers to Allah. For me, this has been the hardest part to adhere to. I always had excuses as to why I didn’t make salah.

When I was going to University, I blamed it on my hectic class schedules and being busy. When I finished school, and I started a job, I blamed not being able to perform the daily prayers on being too busy. Sometimes I worried about finding a place to pray at work. My imaan (faith) slowly declined. I attended the masjid less frequently, I listened less and less to the Quran and Islamic lectures. I started listening more to music. One interesting thing I noted was I was never felt I had any peace deep down. I always felt I was missing something.

That something I was missing turned out to be Allah. I needed that connection with my creator. I realized that I needed to pray and bow down to my creator. One day, I made ghusl (the cleansing shower before a prayer), made wudhu (washing face,hands and feet trice). I got out the prayer rug, and prayed Dhuhr. I had missed the fajr prayer, so I did that also (albeit late). Immediately this feeling of comfort came over me, I felt so internally at peace like I had nothing to worry about. I truly felt as I bowed my head down in prayer,I felt Allah with me right there. After I finished my prayer, as I made the dua (supplication) to Allah, I cried and asked for forgiveness. How could I be so disconnected from Allah this long? How did I survive that?

I’m happy to say for the past week I have been performing my daily prayers. Today I missed the Asr and Maghrib prayers. The shaytan used his weapons against me, but I prevailed, by making them up. The feeling I get after I complete a prayer, I can’t describe it. It just feels so good. My heart feels so much cleaner, and it seems like all my worries are gone. May Allah accept all of our prayers. Insha’Allah I will never stop having this beautiful connection with my creator. What is life without prayer?