Dealing with people WHO hate you

I know the title of this blog post is kind of too much, but I couldn’t really come up with a better title. I’ve always been this type of person who senses how a person feels about me. You can say it’s a sixth sense. I sense people’s emotions, and how they feel about me. Naturally, if I sense someone has some grudge against me, doesn’t like me….I sense it quickly. My family seem to think it’s all in my head, but 100% of the time I was right about that certain individual’s disdain towards me. One of the things I have to work on is dealing with people I know don’t like me. My whole life I’ve faced so much animosity since forever. I’ve learned when someone has something against me. What bothers me is I sometimes let it get to me. I’m a real person, I’m not used to being passively aggressive. I like to voice my opinions rather than beat around the bush. It recently happened, I was enjoying myself with some close acquaintances when this female who I barely know but knows some other females who seem to not like me came over. I said hi to her like everyone else, but she gave me this LOOK. Maybe it was nothing, but my intuition told me she has something against me, she doesn’t like me. I decided I was not going to care. I eventually left after being at the function for a while and said my goodbyes to everyone.

Why do we let people get the best of us? There are certain people in this world who thrive on making a person feel bad. They may do it out of jealousy, or to just feel good about themselves. There are people who will try to see what you’re insecure about and try to attack you on that. What can you do? I’ve learned over the years that I was one of those people who was very open with my life with people. I realized I needed to stop sharing so much about myself to people who aren’t very close to me. They might eventually use it against me. Also, I’ve realized I needed to not show any insecurity around people. We’re all flawed, but in this world you must not let them know what you are insecure about. There are some people who will use that against you one day. Secondly, there are people that will give you dirty looks, or condescending looks for no reason at all, or because they’re just haters. What can you do? Even as grown adults, the first thing you need to do is not let them get a reaction from you. You must keep doing what you were doing. If you were smiling, keep smiling. Their goal is to basically derail your self confidence. Don’t let them. Don’t let them make you feel less important than them. That’s the type of reaction they want from you. If they see you sad, or not interacting with others because of them or the look they gave you, they will be satisfied. It’s a process, for some people it’s easy for them to handle situations like the above, but for some people who are reactionary, it can be difficult but not impossible.

I leave you with these quotes from Imam Shafi (ra) , “When the foolish one speaks, do not reply to him, for better than a response (to him) is silence, and if you speak to him you have aided him, and if you left him (with no reply) in extreme sadness he dies.”

“The foolish one addresses me with words of disgrace, but I hate to respond to him in a similar manner. The more ignorant he proves, the more patient I become. Just like the incense; the more it’s burnt, the more it releases its fragrance.”

 

 

Why Twitter ruins lives

Social media, and technology are both a blessing and a curse you can say. I think social media such as Twitter is such a waste of time. Many marriages have been ruined on that. People rather be talking to their computer to people thousands of miles away than to go out and socialize. We’re losing sense of reality. I really think it also contributes to depression from hours of your precious time wasted reading other people’s tweets or looking at their pictures. It’s time we unplug from this social media demon. It’s also very addictive. It takes your life away slowly. People can accomplish so much, but because of technology these days they’re addicted to not talking to anyone but people online. It’s actually very tragic in our day and time. I would say the same thing about Facebook also. In fact, research shows that people who are on Facebook or Twitter suffer mental illnesses, including depression. It’s a very dehumanizing phenomenon. People lose the ability to connect with real people slowly, but surely. Do you really need to tweet about your breakfast? Who cares? I don’t know, maybe some people like it for the likes especially on Facebook. It somehow is good for the ego, and it actually is way to feed your ego. However, people are neglecting their lives for this addiction. It’s not a drug, but it’s just as bad as a drug addiction. Social media, such as Twitter I would say ruins lives. It has ruined many people’s lives, I’m just so happy I gave that up when I started seeing how addicted I’m becoming. I rather be helping humanity than talking about what I want to do online.  May Allah make it easy for us.