Gratitude to Allah

Nice video, I love this

Feeling of Home

I can honestly say I never feel I am at home in America. I always am reminded of how foreign and different I am daily with my hijab. I honestly do love America for many of the things it helped me with, but I can say being a Muslim immigrant in America in these times of heavy Islamophobia is not easy. People told me to take off my hijab, appear less “Muslim”. I laugh at them because this is supposed to be the land of the free, as in the freedom to believe in what I want, and to observe my religious beliefs openly without fear. That is the ideal, but the reality is it’s not. Every time I see a young Muslim girl in hijab going to a public school with a hijab on, I pray for her because I know it must not be easy to always feel out of place. Muslims are seen thanks in large part to the media as something negative, and a threat. I’m so worried for the future of Muslims in America sometimes, because at anytime if something happens who knows what things will be done to us. It could be we will all be locked up in internment camps or something. Anyways, people might say “well why don’t you move out of America if it’s so hard for you?” The answer is, it’s not hard to move out of America for many reasons as you can imagine. Secondly, my life in America is not always discriminations and such, many times it’s not that bad. I just never feel at home. When I was in Somalia….I felt at home in a sense.

I recently was at a career fair in my city, and I went to talk to a guy who helps people with their resumes. I wore a freshly pressed white hijab, and dressed elegantly. One of the first things he said was that although employers shouldn’t discriminate you due to where “you’re from”, but with your “name” you should indicate on your resume that you’re a “US citizen”. He had this condescending tone to his voice that’s very common in Americans, and all I could do was smile and let him go on. I mean he did assist me with my resume to clean it up a bit, but all I could remember was him telling me that employers will see I’m foreign, not only foreign, but a visible and proud Muslim woman. I thanked him and went my way out. This is just the surface of things that are going on in this place and it’s quite sad. America is said to be a “melting pot” society, but it doesn’t seem like it when only a certain race, Anglo sounding names, and a certain religion is preferred over others.

The title of this blog reminds me of a hadith by our beloved prophet Muhammad(s.a.w) said ,“Live in this world as (if you are) a wayfarer or a stranger.” After all you shouldn’t ever feel that this world is the end of all things or “home”, life is a test from Allah and I know things we face daily are trials, but all we can do is be patient, educate others and work towards Jannah. So, the term “home” is never really solid…because we’re not really “home” in this world.

Somali parents are failing their kids

Being an immigrant in the western world can be a tough thing. Especially if you’re from a Muslim culture, often times life here is pretty secular, devoid of morality, and all about working for the buck. Back home, it was easier to raise kids in Africa. The community often raised the kids, no one worried that your child will be kidnapped, or abused by others. In this culture, it’s different. Kids don’t even feel safe to play outside. With that said, the focus of child rearing for Somali mothers has become the daughter. Daughters are given more pressure, as a girl who becomes pregnant outside of wedlock not only in the Somali community, but Muslim community (possibly African communities) is seen as bringing great shame to the family. With that said, the focus is on the girls not the boys. So, what we see in the US is girls are doing better academically than the boys. The boys are not given any rules or regulations, they can hang on the “block” all day. The girls typically do all the household chores, but in Somali culture in general household work is typically something women do. Also, the whole feminism thing in America, many boys are failing behind in general compared to their girl counterparts, so Somali boys are also in this mix. 

I think Somali parents should be aware of what their kids are doing, especially the boys so they don’t end up being in gangs, shooting each other like what’s happening to American Americans these days. I believe everything starts in the household. Somali parents are not to be blamed because many of them are trying really hard with their traumatic experiences back home, but we must as a community try to uplift our boys. The youth are the future!

Hate comments I received

Since I last wrote my “Muslim marriage crisis” blog entry, I’ve received some personal attacks from people who possibly know me, but want to hide behind the computer screen and insult me. They claim that I’m “desperate” for a man, and some even said that I will “never marry”. Pretty harsh? I think so too. Which brings me to that topic of marriage in the Muslim community again. In Islam, we’re not supposed to date or be alone with the opposite gender. Many sisters who are practicing the religion find it difficult as they don’t want to do the whole dating thing, and when they ask others to help them find a mate, they are often told by others, especially other sisters that they are “desperate”.  Which is exactly how I got insulted for writing such things that are facts in the USA for Muslims here. 

Personally,l know most Somali sisters want to marry a Somali man, for cultural reasons. However, for some sisters it can be difficult especially if you live in states where there are not many Somalis. I personally know some Somali girls who have went back to Africa and got married to Somali men there. I actually think that’s a good idea. Somali men in Africa still have chivalry, and don’t want to play around. They usually are seeking marriage in a halal way. I would definitely urge Somali sisters who are looking to marry a Somali man to look for a husband in Africa. They are very respectable towards women there also. Somali men here in the United States have been doing that for a while, they often as I said previously seek Somali wives in other countries. The whole feminism thing here where women in America want to act like a man, has turned many men off. Even American men prefer foreign women compared to American women. American women can’t fry an egg is what this one guy told me, and the reason why he prefers foreign women. So, my point is life is too short to not get what you want. 

As far as the hate comments go, anytime you have an opinion in life, there are people who will not agree with you. I simply delete most of the hate comments I receive in this blog because I’m about being positive. 

The Muslim Marriage Crisis

Lately I’ve been meeting so many Muslim women, who are successful, educated, beautiful and over 35 years old and unmarried in America. So, I did a little survey by going on a muslim marriage site, and searched women who were 35-40 who never married and had no children in America, the results were astonishing. It’s just as I expected. I’ve wrote about the rise of the unmarried Somali woman before, and this just confirms my previous observations. For one thing, Muslims in America are thinly spread out. Many Muslim men are able to easily  marry non-Muslim women that they work with or go to school with if the availability of Muslim women is limited, but what about the Muslim women? As we all know, as Muslim women we can only marry a Muslim man, and especially in ethnic Muslim communities, the women are encouraged to marry within their own “culture”. For example, in the Somali community, there are many over 30 year old women who never married. In Somali culture, we don’t have arranged marriages, you’re not supposed to have a boyfriend and have kids out of wedlock Islamically. Women are expected to find their own husband. The problem is many boys in the west, especially Somali men are facing the same issues facing the wider community in America. In America, the marriage rate in general is going down. Men are easily getting sex from women, and this decreases their drive to marry them, as they see no point in marrying if they’re getting free sex.  Many boys who were raised here will try to talk to a girl, but will hesitate to marry her. I’ve met Somali girls who were dating a guy for 4 years ,and some mentioned to me the guy has never proposed, yet he gives the illusion that he’s in “love”. Also, Muslim men were able to marry up to 4 wives in their home countries, but due to the cost of living in America, as well as laws against that it’s difficult. Many women feel all the good men are married off. So, what we have left is highly educated, financially well off Muslim women who are single. Also, Muslim men (non-Somalis) from Arab or Asian communities tend to want to marry white convert women instead of black revert women or their own women. This leaves other issues. Many men also decide to go back to their native countries and marry there as they view the girls back home as being more “pure” and “womanly” not a  crazed feminist.

So, what are the solutions? For one, the Muslim community needs to help Muslim women who are not married get married. I feel the masjids are not doing a good job. Some people say online marriage sites can be utilized, but the reality is it never works, most of the people on their are in other countries and are seeking a green card.  This is an issue that could affect Muslims in this country. Secondly, the families need to be willing to allow their daughters to marry other races/ethnicities outside their “culture”. The Muslim men, need to start being Muslim men and not date a girl years and years and waste her precious time. This is not halaal and decays the morals of Islam from our lives. 

Please share your thoughts below. I would love to hear what solutions are out there. 

Free your mind!

I decided to free my mind from being polluted by social media. I quit every last bit of social media I owned. Sure, I met some good people on there, but did I ever meet them live? No. Social media pollutes your mind, and I truly think it’s designed to control people to be chained to their iphones and computer monitors. I just woke up today and decided I’m done, and for life, insha’Allah. I rather spend my time learning things that will bring me benefit, like learning about Islam and learning the Quran. Every second we spend on social media is a second you will never get back. I didn’t find any benefit in it. It is fueled by anger. It actually made me angry, because some people post racist things, and it triggers some primal instinct and brings hatred out of you. Insha’Allah, my future is going to be social media less. Anyways, you guys have a blessed day and drink tea=)

Beautiful Reminder: Being born Muslim

 

 

Obsession with food and weight

It seems our culture here (America) is obsessed with food and weight. Everyday there is a new diet book, or diet fad that is coming out. I’m one of those people who is obsessed with weight control. Since I can remember , I’m obsessed about my weight and what I’m putting into my body.  I’m not fat or obese , but I think I mainly am this way because I feel looking physically fit makes me feel better about myself. 

In such a vanity driven culture, I sometimes wonder do we have it all wrong. The answer is yes. You see, in Islam, Allah tells us in worst case scenarios to give our stomachs 1/3 food, 1/3 water, and 1/3 leave it for air. As Muslims, we’ve grown up with that, but how many of us know what 1/3 food or 1/3 water is? Well, if you take a 500ml (1/2 liter) bottle and pour water in it a little above 50% that is about 1/3. So, that would be how much water you need. Same with food. We don’t even need that much. For example, in Somali restaurants you order a plate of pasta or goat curry rice, they give you a meal to feed a whole village. Is that necessary? No. I understand they want you to like their food, but why are they trying to making us overeat unnecessarily… 

Additionally, even the 1/3 food and water Allah says it’s the most you should give to your body to be healthy, but we don’t need that much to survive. We can live on a piece of date here, an apple, water, a morsel of food. We need food to live so have connection with our creator, to have energy to do what we have to do. We don’t LIVE to eat. Food is such a social thing, and of course it’s inevitable to overeat at times, but you don’t need to overeat all the time. Alot of people eat for comfort ,but in reality food addiction causes more depression in the end because of all the pounds on the scale. Eating less makes you have more mental clarity, we can all testify during Ramadan we are more productive while fasting. Our body is resting, our cells are repairing themselves, our body is getting rid of toxins in our body, it’s a very light and healthy feeling. The benefits of eating less, and of healthy organic foods is we look better. We have mental clarity, and stability. In fact, studies have shown that people who eat less live longer and have fewer health problems. They also report looking and feeling younger. 

I’m actually writing about eating less because with my busy life, I’m sometimes eating mindlessly, and I realized I don’t need to be doing that. I’m trying to start drastically reducing my food intake. I’m hoping to get mental benefits from this, lately I’ve been feeling not as clear headed, and I attribute that to a host of things including lack of vitamin D, and I don’t like taking a vitamin D pill, I want the natural source, which is the sun. It’s just winter over here, and sometimes the sky is always gray, but insha’Allah soon it will be Spring and things will start warming up. 

We need food to live, to function, not live to eat. I think if we all were conscious of our eating habits, we’d all be in the best shape of our lives. Let’s all try this together…let me know how it goes. Ready..set…go.

Racism in the “Muslim World”

I’ve recently seen some youtube videos on how Ethiopian, Fillipino and other non-Arabs are treated like crap in the middle east particularly in Saudi Arabia. I knew about this, but never did I imagine the type of racism that goes on over there. What bothers me is that when people think about Islam, they think “Saudi Arabia” and in today’s world what you see and how things are quite different. I’m very disgusted by how Arabs, in particular wealthy Arabs in Saudi Arabia treat foreigners. 

Many times Arabs want to deny they’re racist and often will use the cloak of Islam to gain sympathy from black Muslims. The matter of fact is they look down on black people, particularly Africans from poor countries. They feel they are superior because the Hajj is in Saudi Arabia, and that the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was Arab. However, Islam says that no Arab is superior to anyone else, or no one particular race is, only we’re superior in our piety. People seem to have forgotten this. In the Arab world the word for black people is “Abeed”, which literally translates to slave. It really upsets me that people who are supposed to be my “people” via Islam look down on others simply because of their class or skin color. I am so happy to live in the United States of America. It’s not perfect, but it’s a free country and most of the time justice is served. Who is speaking up for all the Ethiopian maids who are raped, and beaten daily by their Arab employers in the middle east? Who will speak for the Bangladeshi street worker in Saudi Arabia who is treated like he’s subhuman ? It hurts my heart to see how the Arab world is full of racism, yet they want us to have sympathy for Palestine. Sure, I feel sorry for the Palestinians, but it really doesn’t help their cause when they are racist themselves and call black people “slaves”. The middle east must change, they need to humble themselves….that oil money will run out one day and the Indian person they used to abuse maybe they’ll end up in their country. You never know, how you treat others will come back to you. I’m very sickened. They don’t represent Islam. Like the fact that women can’t drive? How is that Islam? No wonder the western world views Islam has something bad. Islam to me is the most beautiful thing, but some “Muslims” don’t represent it well, they show their own demons and present it as a religion. 

Recently there was a Saudi journalist who was born in Saudi Arabia in 1981 to a Saudi father and Somali mother, he was deported this month in 2014 to Somalia. The guy never has been to Somalia, and doesn’t speak a word of Somali, today he’s in Mogadishu. Why? Because they don’t consider him a “real Saudi”. Even though his father is Saudi, they look down on Saudis marrying outside their race. In America on the other hand, a Somali man born in 1985 immigrated to Minnesota in 1999, today he’s nominated for an Oscar. His name is Barkhad Abdi. Now tell me which society is better? I will say America is the best place in the world. Like I said, it’s not perfect, but I rather live here than be oppressed in Saudi Arabia. The Arab world lives in barbaric darkness due to pride, tribalistic, and racial superiority complex. They view black people and poor Asians as subhuman. It makes me angry that people say that’s an example of Islam, because Islam is beautiful and is against racism. 

Happy New Year 2014!

We are here my friends! It is 2014. Think about this 2014. Time really does fly. Let’s make this year better than it was last year. We should strive to reach our goals in life. I’m so grateful to have made it to 2014, and I thank Allah for all this. I’ve learned many things this year that has helped me in my personal growth as a human being. I’m hoping 2014 for me and all of us will be much better. Everything in life is a test, and we’re given these tests in life for a good reason. We must learn from it, and continue to strive to be better. Don’t ever feel like it’s you only going through a difficulty, we’re all connected in this world. We’re all facing the same things just in different ways. 2014 let’s make it beautiful!